


The Interview

by beethovenisblue



Category: The Old Guard (Movie 2020)
Genre: First Meetings, Gen, Immortal Husbands Joe | Yusuf Al-Kaysani/Nicky | Nicolò di Genova, M/M, Multi
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2021-02-09
Updated: 2021-02-23
Packaged: 2021-03-15 01:47:25
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 4
Words: 5,351
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29305980
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/beethovenisblue/pseuds/beethovenisblue
Summary: "Well, it's not like gay people just appeared in the twentieth century," Joe says. "There have been plenty of other times and places where Nicky and I were unremarkable. Well, at least our love. Wise men of history have always seen my Nicolo's beauty as divine. Why our friend Micky from Florence used him as a model for one of his more impressive statues. It's still around today"Nicky can see the host connecting the dots. "I'm sorry, do you mean Michelangelo's David?""The resemblance is remarkable, isn't it? Undersold a few pieces though..." Joe says."You knew frickin' Michaelangelo?" the host asks."Biblically, right boys?" Andy smirks.*****Merrick managed to leak proof of The Old Guard's existence before he died. The world freaked out. To help quell the fears of billions, Nicky, Joe, Andy, and Nile agree to a series of interviews on BBC.
Relationships: Andy | Andromache of Scythia & Lykon, Andy | Andromache of Scythia/Other(s), Joe | Yusuf Al-Kaysani/Nicky | Nicolò di Genova
Comments: 36
Kudos: 181





	1. One

Nicky didn’t have to see the audience to know they were there, somewhere behind the seemingly solid barrier of light just beyond the edge of the set. He’d guess there were at least a hundred. Innocent bystanders all of them. That is if they needed to make some sort of escape. Not that doing so was terribly practical. The studio was locked down with security Copley had contracted for them, and there were only a few doors leading out to a larger production complex inundated with even more security. Some of it theirs, some of it belonging to the station. 

The anxious bustle in the studio came to an abrupt calm, and Nicky registered the host, Emma something, starting her introductions as he tried to get his bearings. 

“Our guests tonight are perhaps the most exciting in the history of this show. Perhaps in the history of television, which of course they have had the unique experiencing or witnessing in its totality…” 

He grabbed for Joe’s hand resting on the couch next to his. He was sweating and was pretty sure the cameras could see his veins bulging with rage in his forehead. He could kill Booker for this. He was angry enough about being captured and tortured in the name of freeing that bastard from a burden he’d barely lived with compared to Nickey and Joe, certainly not Andy or Quinth. But Booker had underestimated the people he was dealing with. He never considered Merrick and his associates would leak proof of their existence to the world. The news was so big, even Copley couldn’t hide them again. And so, here they are, sitting down for their first public interview in the hopes of curtailing the fears of billions about their powers for long enough to disappear into mythology once more. 

“Some are calling them ‘The Old Guard.’ A group of immortal heroes who’ve haunted our history books, and fought in, if this proof is to be believed, in nearly every major global conflict for the last three centuries. But rumors are that our proof represents just a fraction of your lives. Is that true?” 

Emma looks at the four of them seated next to her desk. Joe is the closest to her. The four of them had agreed he had the best temperament to get them through this experience. On the couch beside him is Nicky, with Nile just beyond him. Andy is sitting in an armchair at an angle to the couch, trying very hard not to be noticed despite the lights and cameras. 

“Well,” smiles Joe, “a few of us are certainly older than that.” 

“And just how old would that be?” she presses. 

“I imagine we have a number of historians watching us tonight. Let’s see if they can figure that out from our other answers.” 

Good pivot. Thought Nicky. His husband really was the most exceptional man he’d ever met. Nearly a millennium of love between them, and Joe still found new ways to excite him. Nicky would have to add media manipulation to the lengthy list of talents Joe possessed that drive him to distraction. 

“A good point Joe,” Emma speaks into the center camera with a plastered smile. “In this first of what I hope will be many interviews with the BBC, our guests have agreed to answer questions primarily about their unique perspectives on history help the rest of us comprehend just a glimpse of their remarkable lives.” Nicky hoped the cameras didn’t pick up on Andy’s whispered laugh at this comment. Remarkable was one way of describing it. Long, boring, and painful might be more accurate. 

“Why don’t we start with some introductions. By now I’m sure everyone has heard the names you call yourselves now, but something tells me that “Andy, Nicky, and Joe” aren’t your given names. Can you tell us what was? And how did you come by your current names?” 

Joe chuckles. “Ah, what a good starting point! You’re absolutely right Emma, we’ve changed our names over the years, especially in the last century or two as record-keeping practices have really increased the need for us to disappear our identities along with our faces every few decades. We try to match our names to the culture we’re living in, or at least something believable for a foreign visitor when blending in isn’t possible. And we always try to honor our given names. Joe, for example, is anglicized since we live in an English-speaking world, one where people with names like mine, Yusuf Al-Kaysani, aren’t well received.” 

“So you’re middle eastern?” 

“I’m Kaysani. We were a Shia sect at one point. But my family home was located in what you now call Iraq.” 

“And what about you Nicky?” Emma turned to him expectantly. Nicky’s throat went dry for a moment. Crap. He’d really been hoping he could just sit here and let Joe answer all the questions while everyone else ignored him. He coughed a few times to find his voice again. 

“Nicolo” he muttered. 

“That would be Italian?” 

“Um, well no, actually.” He tried. This had actually become a sticking point for him in the last century. “Italia is a recent invention. So is Italian, and the Italians. And I’m not so sure it’s a good invention. This is something you must understand is quite painful for us. Andy, Yusuf, and I’ve all lived long enough to see the places we were born, fade away, or be consumed into something newer. Andy and I, our first languages don’t exist anymore. I’ll never again hear the poetry and stories my mother told me as a child. Or sing nursery rhymes in the tongue of my sister. I’m Genoan. But what does that even mean today? The Genoa I knew disappeared in the Renaissance. So did its language.” 

Nicky was shaking. Joe’s grip was iron. “Sono qui. Sono qui Nicky… Stiamo bene.”

“Nicky raises a few important things to know about us I think.” Joe redirects. “Some of your media has touched on this. Doctor Who is a great example, but the one constant in lives as long as ours is grief. And it is all-consuming at times. Another, of course, is the need to constantly relearn. I’m lucky compared to the others. I grew up speaking Arabic, and thanks to the Quran, I can still recognize my father’s tongue among speakers today. On the other hand, I’ve had to learn what you call Italian four or five times now.” 

“Oh, how interesting! You all must be the most accomplished polyglots in history. You know I know most of the focus since your discovery has been on the, frankly terrifying, combat skills you have. But of course, you’d had the time to master so many other things.” Emma gestures to Nile. “Of course you are Nile Freeman. Despite having officially died, it sounds like you haven’t had the chance yet to change your name. You’re sort of the baby of the group.” 

“Hah, yes, that’s one way of putting it. I’m just 27 years old, which until a few months ago felt pretty ancient to me, but yeah, even compared to Booker, I’m an infant. I am the only one here today who is young enough to have a last name!” Emma chuckles uncomfortably and looks at Joe. Nicky nudges Nile’s thigh with his fist. Booker was supposed to be off topic. So were the specifics of her first death. 

Nile must get the message because she jumps back in to pivot, “So don’t be surprised if I’m a bit quieter during these first few interviews. So much has happened in the couple of months since Andy here showed up and turned my life upside down, I’ve hardly had the chance to ask a lot of these questions myself. So I’m looking forward to hearing what my friends here have to say. I’ve got a lot to learn. But maybe I can help translate some of their experiences for the rest of us.” 

“And we’ll appreciate that for sure. Though I think we’ll have plenty of questions for you too as these interviews go along. And of course, that leaves us with Andy, or as you’ve apparently been called for some time now, Andromache of Scythia. Now I looked into it, and there have been a number of people by that name throughout history. And the Scythians are quite an ancient culture, dating back nearly three thousand years. Tell me, did you just adopt the name of the mythical figure? Surely you’re not old enough to have fought in Troy.” 

Andy smirks. She always does when asked this question. Her age is truly incomprehensible to most people. If he’s being honest, it’s incomprehensible even to him. 1000 years old, and he is still a child. 

“Well, I am pretty old. But no, that wasn’t my given name. I don’t even remember my given name to be honest. But Lykon gave me the name when we met in Greece and it stuck. I’ve kept it to honor him.” 

“Oh how sweet, after all this time you are still honoring someone from so long ago. Was he someone you loved?” Emma looks like a dog with a bone. 

“Well, yes. But not like you imagine. We shared more than a millennium together. He was another one of us.” 

There’s a pregnant pause at this information. 

“Wait. I’m sorry, there are others?” 

The smirk disappears from Andy’s face. For a brief flash, Nicky sees the sadness behind her stubborn mask. 

“Well… yes. We’re not the only ones who’ve lived like this. I doubt we’re the last.” Andy responds carefully. 

Another pause as Emma’s, and Nicky is sure, a few hundred million other minds implode. 

“Well, that is certainly news. But I’m still confused, you all are immortals, but you said, was it Lykon? You said he was one of you. Where is he now?”

“Dead,” Andy says. 

The green light on the center camera turns red. “And commercial!” shouts one of the producers from off set.


	2. Chapter 2

A life this long has some perks, Nicky thinks. A well developed shorthand in communication being among them. As the host whispers excitedly with her producer, an entire conversation between Andy and Joe occurs entirely through pointed glares and shrugs. Nile nudges him.

“What are they saying?” she whispers. 

“Well, Joe is asking Andy a, rather reasonable if you ask me, ‘What the fuck?’ and Andy is trying to act like she didn’t just make this entire situation worse.” 

Joe returns Andy’s second nonchalant shrug with a stink eye, which Nicky thinks means something along the lines of “You know damn well what you did, but you’ll be dead soon enough that don’t care about the consequences.” Andy’s two-fingered response makes him think he was dead on. 

The room went quiet again, the producer ran off set, and the camera turned green again. 

“Welcome back! If you’re just tuning in, we’re here tonight in the first of a series of special interviews with members of the so-called “Old Guard,” the small group of maybe immortals involved in the Merrick pharmaceuticals disaster last spring. But to pick up where we paused just before the break, Andy just shared some information that puts that immortal status into question. Do you mean to tell us that there have been others like you and they died? Does this mean you can die?” 

There’s yet another awkward silence and Nicky is realizing that even with a thousand years practice, sometimes their shorthand is only good for an “oh shit.” It’s Nile that saves them. 

“Everything dies,” she says, repeating the words shared with her that first night. “Even immortals.” 

“What could possibly kill you all? We’ve all seen the video from Merrick tower, you each took out dozens of elite level former soldiers.” 

Nile gives Nicky a quick look. He nods. 

“Well, it’s not really about what, from what I understand. It’s more of a when. At some point, our bodies just stop healing. There’s no obvious reason for it. But that day will come for all of us.”

“But until then, no matter how many times you die, you’ll just keep waking up again?” Emma clarifies. 

“Unfortunately,” Nile responds, clearly avoiding Andy’s gaze. Booker, Nile’s death, these are topics off limits with the show. Quinth on the other hand, they’d all agreed in private not to mention. If she ever did get free, there’s no reason the world needed to know. Nicky still hoped she could come searching for Nicky and get their whole lot out of this situation. 

“How did this Lykon die?” Emma asks. They all turn to Andy. Nicky wishes he could reach her. 

She looks down for a moment. “A blow to the chest. It was the 930’s I think. Calendars are hard, there have been so many and whenever we’ve jumped between cultures we’ve had to adjust our timelines to new ones. We were in Korea, right as it was being unified. I honestly don’t remember whose side we were on, but we…” a flash of panic crosses Andy’s face “I...I found him, and held him as he died. He told me it was time. And he just died. There was nothing special about it. He’d died plenty of noble and good deaths, but in 1500 years, this one didn’t stand out as anything special. He was just gone.” 

Joe spoke into the silence. “You know, the rest of us haven’t lived through it yet, but it’s hard to imagine how painful such a loss would be. Andy told us a bunch of stories about Lykon. I think part of what brought him up for her tonight is that, well, we’re all getting this credit for our many places in history, and he deserves his too. He made plenty of contributions.”

This glorious man, Nicky thinks. Of course, he figured it out. Andy can’t stand getting the credit, she has to share it. “Like what?” Emma shifts, clearly trying to lighten the mood a bit. The Old Guard are not the shining noble warriors, nor the terrifying gods the media have made them out to be.

This is one Nicky can help with. “Well, you know the Battle of Marathon in Greece? There is that story about the soldier who ran all those miles just to announce the victor and then died on the spot. It’s where we get the name for those long distance races. Well, what the story never remembers is —” 

“That he got back up again a few minutes later!” Joe interjects with a laugh. 

“I think he fought alongside the 300, in the battle of Thermopylae a few years later.” 

Andy perked up at that. “He did that one with me. I uh...well I fit in well with the Spartans.” 

Nicky’s attention was drawn back to the wall of light. Was that laughter? Emma’s shoulders clearly relaxed. 

“We spent a lot of that millennium bouncing between India and Greece. Lykon made me sit through 15 years old Prince Sid pontificating about duhkha, and I felt it was time for us to be a bit less...monastic.” Andy remembered with a shiver. 

“Oh get off it. You learned meditation from the goddamned Buddha Andy” Nicky scolds. 

“And she won’t tell either of us if she met Jesus or Mohamed (SAW), though she totally could have,” Joe adds. 

“I’ve passed through Jerusalem more than a couple of times Nico, and there are always messiahs there. I swear they grow on trees, how am I supposed to remember one particular carpenter turned holy man who wasn’t even that big a deal until like a hundred years after he died?” Andy responds. They’ve had this fight more than once. 

“Wow, well it seems like you’ve all witnessed some remarkable things, and met some incredible people. Maybe that’s as good a place as any to jump to next. You’ve all lived through such incredible developments in technology and knowledge, if you had to pick just one, what is your favorite?” 

“Oh, that’s easy.” Chimed in Nicky, surprising himself with a quick answer. “The combustion engine.” Joe cackles. 

Emma asks bemused “Sounds like there is a story to that one” 

“Not much of one. My delicate rose here has flat feet.” Joe interjects.

“Flat feet?” Emma asks, clearly confused...again.

“Do you have any idea how much of our lives we’ve spent just walking from place to place? Before Yusuf and I got together, I had to walk from Rome to Jerusalem and back three times!” Nicky complains. 

“Not to mention, we spent a few decades working as translators for Ibn Battuta. It took him 30 years to travel from Morocco to India.” Joe adds. “Today that same journey can be done in a matter of hours. We’ve seen some incredible moments for sure, but most of our life has involved a great deal of boredom just getting places.” 

“Well then, a combustion engine sounds like a reasonable answer. What about you Joe? What achievement in your time is your favorite?”

Joe looked down and stroked his beard in contemplation. “I’ve not really considered it before. I think I’ll go with linear perspective.” 

Silence. Jesus, Nicky thinks, he fell for the biggest nerd in history. He would go with something so arcane.

“The painting technique? You’ve lived through the printing press, gun powder, and electricity, and you’re going with a style of painting?” Emma asks skeptically. 

“A painting technique that gave the world depth,” Joe argues back. “Let me see if I can explain what that was like. I think color TV might be the most similar achievement. Or 3D movies. The world got more beautiful.” 

“You hopeless romantic” Nicky smiles, grabbing Joe’s hand. 

“Are you sure this isn’t just because you had a crush on Filippo Brunelleschi?” 

Joe shrugs. “What can I say. I have a thing for pretty Italian boys…”

“Oh god…” Nile sighs. Long-suffering after just four months.

Emma turns to Andy. “And what about you Andy?”

Andy sighs. “I’m not sure I’m able to answer that question. Can you limit it to just one millennium?"

"I could try, but why?"

"Well, it's just that I’m not really sure how I’d compare the lightbulb to the wheel.” 

Silence again. 

“You’re older than the wheel?” Emma whispers. 

Andy smirks. 

“Put it this way Emma,” Joe jumps in, knowing full well Andy isn’t going to answer that question “When Andromoche here first got into labor rights, it was after a heated argument with Pharaoh Khufu.” 

Silence yet again.

“The guy who built the Great Pyramid?” Nile asks, clearly reaching for a middle school textbook in her memory. Emma’s knuckles are turning white as they grip her desk. 

“Well HE didn’t build it, now did he?” Andy says, clearly still miffed about it. 

“Why don’t we throw to break right now,” Joe speaks into the silence, “Maybe by the time we’re back our host will have a voice again.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It's late, so I'm not going to put in all the historical references added here tonight, but most of them can be found pretty easily on Google. I'll try to update them tomorrow.
> 
> Any suggestions for interview questions?


	3. Chapter 3

They were arguing in Minoan; Yusuf and Andy. 

“Are you intentionally trying to scare the shit out of all humanity, or are you just an idiot?” Yusuf asked. Andy had insisted they learn about seven hundred years ago. After working their way through most of the commonly spoken languages of the time, she insisted it would be useful to have a language that simply no one alive would ever be able to figure out. 

Quynth had suggested Sogdian at first, which was clearly an attempt to flirt with Andy. She had later suggested Hittite, given its influence on older Indo-European languages and record in Cuneiform, it would have been simpler for Yusof and Nico to learn. Andy had insisted that Lykon was close with the Minoans, having spent a few decades scaring prisoners in a certain labyrinth. 

“Oh shut it, Joe! The second worst thing that could ever happen to us happened. Am I supposed to sit here and just be nice about it? Our way of life is over. Maybe the three of you will find a way out of this one day, but I’m certainly not going to live to see it. Just let me have my fun.” 

Nicky noticed one of the cameras was still recording. He imagined this conversation, or at least the language they had it in, would come up in an interview at some point. If not on television, with one of the inevitable hundreds of interviews with historians they were bound to have to sit through in the coming decades of digging into their lives. Unless they escaped. 

Nicky didn’t hate this situation as much as the others. He was pissed of course, especially at Booker, but the idea of passing a few decades in relative comfort with his Yusuf sounded nice. Andy deserved some peace. Nile needed to learn about a dozen languages to fluency, to say nothing of two millennia of warfare. Yusuf could stand to polish his computer skills. Perhaps a chance to rest, and make sure that Andy’s story was well recorded would do them all some good. 

The producer was counting down again. Nicky stole a quick look at Emma. The glass of water and shot of tequila she’d managed to get down over the commercial were doing her some good. 

“And we’re back! And let’s not waste another minute. Most of us don’t have the time the four of you have survived. Now, before the break, Andy and Joe, you started us down the road of some of the terrible things you all have witnessed. You do seem to place yourselves into moments of critical change, but also horror. Today we seem to think that terror and trauma are inventions of the modern age, whenever we go to rate the worst events in history. I’m wondering, what do you think are among the worst events in your lifetimes?” 

It’s a good thing Joe can heal quickly because Nickey has dug his fingernails fully through his jeans and into his flesh. Joe isn’t looking much better, and Andy’s eyes have gone kind of pale. This question wasn’t on the list they had agreed to. The topic is one they do their best to avoid even in private. Horror is as old as humanity itself. 

Nile saves the day.

“Can we put some rules on that question? No doubt my friends here have seen some terrible stuff. We do try to place ourselves not in, but near inflection points in history, and trauma is nothing new. Why don’t we limit our answers to bad things they witnessed that weren’t about the mass slaughterings of entire peoples? How about that?” 

“Sure,” Emma follows along, “that sounds reasonable.” 

“Thank you, Emma. Andy, you were just going on the other day about books, perhaps that’s a good place to start?” 

If Joe wouldn’t run him through with a broadsword for it, Nickey would kiss Nile about now. 

“Oh, um sure. Yeah, that was pretty terrible. I was at the burning of the Musaeum, what you call the Library of Alexandria, by Caeser. Biggest library in the world at the point, and he just… burned it. You have to understand, I’m older than books. And there are only so many times a person can read Gilgamesh. That library was a dream. And Caesar was a dick.” Andy added. 

“What were you doing in Alexandria Andy? Stopping the Romans wasn’t really your style in their early days.” Nicky asked. 

“Oh, well, no. I wasn’t there to fight it. More of a personal visit.” 

“A personal visit?” Emma asks. As much with her eyes as her voice. 

“Well. I had a feeling Cleo wouldn’t be around much longer. Thought I owed it to her to stop by once more.” 

“Cleo? As in Cleopatra? You knew Cleopatra?” Emma’s bewilderment was back. She was clutching at the edge of the desk again. 

“Well… yeah. She was a very beautiful woman. I thought someone ought to teach her to speak Demotic. Egypt is so old, and everyone who’s ever invaded it insisted on speaking a new language…” Andy tried to explain, cheeks turning pink. 

“Andy knows all the beautiful women of history,” Joe quipped. 

"History is an awfully long time to be heterosexual..." Andy mutters, barely audible. 

“I see.” Emma looked to Joe next. This was going to be a thing, Nicky realized. Section 28 was within the lifetime of even Nile. “What about you Joe?”

“Hrm, well I guess I’ll follow Andy’s lead. Library of Constantinople, 1204, 4th Crusade.” 

“That must have been early days for you, no?” Emma asked. 

“Oh yes,” Yusuf answers, “Constantinople was where Nico and I had our first flat together. And another damned crusade messed it up.” 

“Still mad about the crusades, 800 years later?” Emma inquires. 

“It’s not 800 years. The church, its successors, they are still there. Hell, look at where we found Nile! The greatest sin of my life was when I signed on to the first crusade. This idea that one way of being or believing is in some way superior, it’s just wrong. There is no such thing as liberating.” Nicky interjects angrily. He sent a quick look of apology to Nile. “You’ll have to come to terms with your role in this particular crusade someday soon too.” 

“Yes, well, I think current events might be the topic for another interview altogether. What about you Nicky, what’s your worst event?”

“Easy. 1932. Burning of the Institute of Sex Research by the Nazis.”   
“Another library? I wouldn’t have expected you all to choose books!”

There’s another pause. Nico, Yusuf, and Andy trading looks. 

Nico breaks the silence. “Heinrich Heine: Where they have burned books, they will end in burning human beings.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Minoan was the language of the Minoan cultures, usually considered the “first” Greek culture and the first civilization within Europe. Their disappearance is still a bit of a mystery but is generally thought to be related to a volcano and invaders. Their language, especially their Hieroglyphics (called Linear A) is famously untranslated. 
> 
> Sogdian was a major, but now long extinct language from modern day Iran, and the Turkmenistan region, which is also one theoretical place of origin for Andy. The Scythians were an early steppe culture. 
> 
> Hittites: a Bronze age empire from Anatolia. Just young enough to have had a written history. 
> 
> Demotic: the version of Egyptian spoken during Antiquity. Something between old Coptic and ancient Egyptian. 
> 
> Help me give some credit here, there is another lengthy fic where Nicky and Joe spend some time in Constantinople. I think the same fic also references the Heine quote. I wasn’t familiar with it before reading it in the fic, but the history behind it is, well, perfect for Nicky and Joe. Can’t remember who wrote the fic though, but if you know, please comment so I can credit them!


	4. Four

Nicky could hardly hear the theme music over the sound of the applause. Maybe that was a blessing. The sound of 300 history nerds cheering was more musical than that sorry excuse for noise they used to start the show. He and Yusuf were there when Barty premiered the first piano, and this is not what he would have wanted. The applause began to quiet and Emma took control. 

“Welcome back everyone! Thank you for tuning into our second special installment interview with members of the internet has dubbed “The Old Guard: protectors of history.” The group of sort-of immortals who’ve witnessed and shaped hundreds, and in one case, thousands of years of human history across the globe. Andy, Nicky, Joe, Nile, it’s nice to see you again. Thank you for being here.” 

“And we’re glad to be here too,” said Nile. After the last interview, the four of them had decided the world might be a touch less prone to melting down every commercial break if Nile took first chair and acted as translator and spokesperson. “Though I think my friends here would appreciate it if we were careful of titles. “Protectors of History” is hardly accurate. They experience time just like the rest of us, as a series of present moments flowing constantly into the next. Our motivations are focused more on creating a desirable future than on protecting the events of the past.” 

“Well, I’m not sure the world will be quite satisfied with that, but fine, while we are here together talking, I can do my best to lay off the accolades.” 

“Thank you,” Nile said. 

“That said, though I am sure there are a thousand different topics the history buffs in our audience would like to jump into, I know our fans and the public at large are very interested in understanding your group dynamic and clarifying a few of your comments from last night.” 

Dio Mio Nicky thought. So we’re going there next. 

“Nicky. Joe. The world was fascinated to learn that you two are clearly involved romantically. Given how old you are, you all are possibly the oldest couple in existence. Please, can you tell us how that happened? How long have you been together?” 

Nico leaned in to Yusuf. His head on his shoulder. He smelled like cinnamon and coffee. Yusuf grabbed his hand and squeezed. 

“Of course,” Joe said. “But I have to warn you, Emma, it’s the greatest story in all of history. We might ruin a few million marriages just by telling you how we met.” 

“Well,” Emma smiled sweetly. Nicky knew that smile. That was the “OMG, GAY, how cute!” smile. An invention of the last two decades he rather detested. “Where you met sounds like a good starting place. Where, and I guess when,” she chuckled “was that?” 

“Well, I killed him,” Nicky said. He was really hoping the awkward silences would have gone away by the second episode. Apparently not. He rolled his eyes. “Sorry, you might want me to be a bit more specific.”

“That might help dear,” Joe added, patting Nicky’s knee.   
“It was the 8th of July, 1099. I was with Tancred at the time. We met in battle. Honestly, I barely noticed him. I was a freshly minted priest at the time, fighting was not what I signed up for, and I was pretty bad at it. It didn’t take long into that horrid war to realize how Godless a thing a crusade is. I just wanted to survive the battle.”

“No such luck. The coward stuck a sword through my stomach. But before I died, I managed a knife through his heart.” Yusuf added with a fondness that must have looked demonic. 

“We died looking into each other's eyes. Arms clasped around one another. We were in love by our last breath.” 

“And then, of course, we woke up. Kind of ruined the romance of love at first death.” Nicky could hear the audience laugh just a bit. This is how they would do it, he thought, by making the world find humor in their absurdity. 

“What did you do?” Emma asked, clearly taken with their story.

“We ran.” they both said. 

“You ran? Why?”

“Look,” Nicky said, his hand, “We didn’t speak the same language. We were on opposite sides of a massacre. And, at least for me, I was pretty sure I had just experienced some kind of witchcraft.” 

Nicky and Joe went on for a while. They talked about wandering the world, alone. Nicky learned Arabic. Joe learned Greek, then Genoan. 50 years apart. 

“Well, then we found each other again,” Nicky said. “50 something years later. The second crusade. And that time we were ready to talk. And, well…” 

“It’s like linear perspective. Nicky gave my world depth.” 

“Hopeless romantic…” 

“Being together must have been challenging. It’s not like the world was very excepting back then.” Emma added. This honestly infuriated Nicky. 

“We’re a fallen priest and a Muslim man who can’t die, or age. You think the fact that we walked the world holding hands was remotely remarkable?” Nicky asked, perturbed. 

“Well I would think that would be one of the barriers, wouldn’t it? Nicky, you were ordained into the priesthood? Didn’t you wrestle with sin with your love?” Emma foolishly continued. 

Nicky took a deep breath. Becoming the angriest homosexual in history was not his goal for how to spend eternity. He had some friends a few decades back who deserved that title anyway. 

“Listen. This is something you all need to appreciate. History is longer than you think. And much more complex.” he tried to settle himself but looked to Joe for help. 

“What do you mean?” Emma asked. 

"Well, it's not like gay people just appeared in the twentieth century," Joe says. "There have been plenty of other times and places where Nicky and I were unremarkable. Well, at least our love. Wise men of history have always seen my Nicolo's beauty as divine. Why our friend Micky from Florence used him as a model for one of his more impressive statues. It's still around today"

Nicky can see the host connecting the dots. "I'm sorry, do you mean Michelangelo's David?"

"The resemblance is remarkable, isn't it? Undersold a few pieces though..." Joe says.

"You knew frickin' Michaelangelo?" the host asks.

"Biblically, right boys?" Andy smirks.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> First off, here is my obligatory apology for the delay in posting this. There, you have it. I'd promise to make some kind of posting schedule, but honestly, that just seems like a recipe for disappointment. 
> 
> Secondly, I am not interested in writing the love story of Nicky and Joe. It's been done and done well, and I would do it no justice. Not really the point of this fic anyway. 
> 
> Historical Notes: 
> 
> Bartolomeo Cristofori is widely considered the inventor of the piano-forte. He worked for the Medicis as keeper of instruments during the later 1600s and early 1700s. He was a renowned harpsichord maker. 
> 
> Siege of Jerusalem, 1st crusade, lasted from 7 July-15 July 1099. 
> 
> Tancred- Italian crusade leader

**Author's Note:**

> This is my first time writing a story on here. I appreciate all feedback. This hasn't been betaed. 
> 
> I've loved toying with how these characters would answer various questions about their opinions on history. What's the greatest invention of your lifetime? Worst war? I'm not sure how long this story will be, but I welcome suggestions for interview questions I can have them answer.


End file.
